“Do not reprove a scoffer, lest he hate you, reprove a wise man, and he will love you.” (Proverbs 9:7-12, NASB)

Today’s passage reminded me of Jesus’ words, “Do not give what is holy to dogs, and do not throw your pearls before swine, lest they trample them under their feet, and turn and tear you to pieces” (Mt.7:6). It showed me that while we should be generous with our love, we are to be faithful stewards of the truth. We are to freely sow the seeds of the gospel, but we are to do it wisely using our time, energy, and resources. Read it for yourself and see if you agree. It says,

“He who corrects a scoffer gets dishonor for himself, and he who reproves a wicked man gets insults for himself. Do not reprove a scoffer, lest he hate you, reprove a wise man, and he will love you. Give instruction to a wise man, and he will be still wiser, teach a righteous man, and he will increase his learning. The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom, and the knowledge of the Holy One is understanding. For by me your days will be multiplied, and years of life will be added to you. If you are wise, you are wise for yourself, and if you scoff, you alone will bear it.”

The path of wisdom, that is, speaking the truth, genuinely loving people, and having a peaceful relationship, is not an easy path. Whether you are the one giving the wise advice or receiving it, there will always be pushback. It is because our human nature is tainted by sin, and we naturally incline to defend ourselves rather than submit to correction. No one wants to admit they are at fault or wrong about something. It truly takes a humble heart to submit to the words of correction.

Solomon cautions that attempting to correct a “scoffer”—someone whose heart is hardened by pride and skepticism—often results in reprisal. For the scoffer, even a positive criticism can be viewed as a personal attack. They will immediately get into a defensive posture and seek to justify their words and actions. On the other hand, a “wise man” recognizes that discipline, reproof, correction, or criticism are not meant to attack but to help him grow and mature. Solomon is not saying this will always be the case, but simply pointing out patterns of human behavior. A person who has a hardened heart will naturally respond with a defensive attitude rather than a learning posture. A person with a learning posture will naturally respond with an open attitude toward correcting oneself.

To me, this passage has a similar tone to Jesus’ words about casting pearls before swine. Both passages emphasize discernment. Spending our energy trying to “fix” someone who actively tramples on the truth only leads to unnecessary strife and the devaluing of the wisdom God has given us. It means we are to actively discern the “soils” of our conversation. We are to seek the Holy Spirit’s guidance in determining the state of the person’s heart, and seek to engage or disengage our conversation. Proverbs 26:4-5 says, “Do not answer a fool according to his folly, lest you also be like him. Answer a fool as his folly deserves, lest he be wise in his own eyes.” It is because when talking to a person who has no desire to listen, they will lead you into many foolish conversations. Some of them will lead you to arguments, and others to speculations.

Apostle Paul provides excellent advice. He says, “But refuse foolish and ignorant speculations, knowing that they produce quarrels. And the Lord’s bond-servant must not be quarrelsome, but be kind to all, able to teach, patient when wronged, with gentleness correcting those who are in opposition, if perhaps God may grant them repentance leading to the knowledge of the truth, and they may come to their senses and escape from the snare of the devil, having been held captive by him to do his will” (2 Tim.2:23-26). We are to speak the truth in love, and be wise in when and how much we should speak it.

On the other hand, whenever we are on the receiving end of reproof, we are to respond with humility. Pay attention to your first internal impulse. If your gut reaction is to “counter-attack” or “justify your actions,” you may be in danger of hardening your heart. Guard your heart by reminding yourself that you are not always right. Welcome corrections from mentors and true friends. Proverbs 27:5-6 says, “Better is open rebuke than love that is concealed. Faithful are the wounds of a friend, but deceitful are the kisses of an enemy.” Don’t be in danger of devaluing the pearl-like wisdom from those who love and care for you.

• Why does Solomon give the explicit command, “Do not reprove a scoffer?”
• How do you determine whether it’s wise to speak the truth or to hold back and stay silent?
• How do you handle criticism, and what does it reveal about your character?