“How I have hated instruction! And my heart spurned reproof!” (Proverbs 5:7-14, NASB)

“Will there be regrets in heaven?” one of my church members asked me. It’s hard to say one way or another. If there are no regrets in heaven, then what does it matter what we do in this life? But if there are regrets in heaven, then does it mean that there will be sadness, grief, and tears in heaven? We know that this is not true as God promises to wipe away every tear from our eyes. What do you think? How would you answer this question? No matter how you answer this question, one thing is for sure: on this side of heaven, we will go through many regrets. Solomon described such a person who fell into sexual immorality and greatly regretted his actions. He writes,

“Now then, my sons, listen to me, and do not depart from the words of my mouth. Keep your way far from her, and do not go near the door of her house, lest you give your vigor to others, and your years to the cruel one; lest strangers be filled with your strength, and your hard-earned goods go to the house of an alien; and you groan at your latter end, when your flesh and your body are consumed; and you say, ‘How I have hated instruction! And my heart spurned reproof! And I have not listened to the voice of my teachers, nor inclined my ear to my instructors! I was almost in utter ruin in the midst of the assembly and congregation.’”

Whether this person was real or made up by Solomon, his feelings of regret are real and identifiable to everyone. This person felt deep regret and expressed grief. The Living Bible expresses it this way: “Oh, if only I had listened! If only I had not demanded my own way! Oh, why wouldn’t I take advice? Why was I so stupid? For now I must face public disgrace.” He regretted rejecting guidance and criticism. He wished he had paid attention to the valuable guidance offered by his teachers and mentors. Have you ever felt like this? We don’t know exactly what happened to him as a result of getting involved with an adulteress. We can only guess, going by what Solomon described. This person wasted his time and energy on this affair. He lost his “hard-earned goods” to strangers. He was also feeling great physical pain, heartache, body aches, and headache.

This scenario refers to feelings of great regret because of sexual immorality, but the lesson can be applied to other sins as well. We can feel regret when we hurt our loved ones with our words, actions, and choices. We can feel regret when we make wrong decisions, especially when we do so with lies, dishonesty, cheating, and selfish motives. We can feel regret for missing opportunities to do good to others and to serve God. Have you ever felt regret over any of these things? No matter how hard you try to ignore it, you cannot help but feel guilt over it. God created mankind with a heart of conscience, and it lets us know when we didn’t do the right things. We can see this to be true as God reminded Cain why he felt bad about killing his brother. Genesis 4:4-7 says, “And the LORD had regard for Abel and for his offering; but for Cain and for his offering He had no regard. So Cain became very angry and his countenance fell. Then the LORD said to Cain, ‘Why are you angry? And why has your countenance fallen? If you do well, will not your countenance be lifted up? And if you do not do well, sin is crouching at the door; and its desire is for you, but you must master it.’”

In this sense, feelings of regret are not a bad thing. Feeling regret is not a sin. It can turn into sin when we allow the feeling to turn to bitterness, anger, jealousy, envy, and turn away from God. Conversely, if we engage in self-reflection and make appropriate adjustments upon experiencing regret, it is a good thing. It is because we are all sinners and prone to making sinful choices. Regret is part of a sinner’s life. We can allow it to make us better or to sin more deeply. Although the person in Solomon’s story fell into sin and drowned in sorrow, God can turn things around for him if he repents. God can wipe away tears from our eyes and give us a new beginning. It is never too late to return to God and listen to His wisdom!

• If this story were about a real person, did his regret bring him closer to God or drive him away?
• When you feel regret, do you turn to God or feel bitter?