Here is Pastor Bob Kopeny of Calvary Chapel East Anaheim teaching about Christian marriage based on Ephesians 5.

“And do not get drunk with wine, for that is dissipation, but be filled with the Spirit, speaking to one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody with your heart to the Lord; always giving thanks for all things in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ to God, even the Father; and be subject to one another in the fear of Christ. Wives, be subject to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the head of the church, He Himself being the Savior of the body. But as the church is subject to Christ, so also the wives ought to be to their husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her; that He might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, that He might present to Himself the church in all her glory, having no spot or wrinkle or any such thing; but that she should be holy and blameless. So husbands ought also to love their own wives as their own bodies. He who loves his own wife loves himself; for no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ also does the church, because we are members of His body. For this cause a man shall leave his father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife; and the two shall become one flesh. This mystery is great; but I am speaking with reference to Christ and the church. Nevertheless let each individual among you also love his own wife even as himself; and let the wife see to it that she respect her husband.” (Eph.5:18-33)

In the past, many Christian leaders taught that wives were to submit to or even obey their husbands because they were leaders, masters, or heads of the house. However, a careful study of the biblical text shows that the words “submit” or “be subject to” in verse 22 is not in the original Greek. It is carried over from the previous verse where it says, “Be subject to one another in the fear of Christ.” As a result, a more biblical way of looking at it would be to say that husbands and wives are to submit to one another, but in different ways. Husbands are to love their wives sacrificially as Christ love the church, and wives are to respect their husbands as the church is to the Lord! Pastor Bob Kopeny goes beyond this and says that being “subject to” or “submitting to” one another cannot be done on their own. It is impossible without the couple being filled and led by the Holy Spirit! He explains that the words “be subject to one another” in verse 21 is not necessarily a command but a byproduct of being “filled with the Spirit” in verse 18. In other words, our obedience to God’s command to love our wives and respect our husbands cannot be done without the help of the Holy Spirit. A sound, healthy, God-honoring marriage can be yours when you have a Spirit filled marriage. What do you think?